Life never fails to surprise me and I luv that! Things can just turn around when you least expect it, especially when you had expected the worst.
I will be going to Korea mid of next month! It was such a last minute decision and honestly, it is so not me. I luv planned holidays and preparing for the trip is a joy to me. But then again, isn't the constant thing abt life is changes? This time round, I was so spontaneous that I surprised myself. I guess, I'm evolving too, eh? Probably with age ...
It all started out from a dream (literally). I dreamt that I was lost in Korea, standing alone in a junction, frantically looking around for familiarity. Not able to speak the language, can't remember my hotel's name - I stood there in utter despair and helplessness. Weird, eh? I think so too. Nevertheless, I smsed a fren whether I can tag along her Korea trip and the next thing I know, applying leaves, purchasing ticket and going around Singapore searching for winter clothes.
It happened so fast that I can barely breathe. It feels surreal at times. I'm so looking forward to this holidays that I can jump up and down twice - scrap that, everyday! I'm numbering the days - not to my birthday or my fave season i.e. Christmas or New Year but to my Korea trip!!! Though this trip is not exactly economical, considering the ticket was bought so last minute (lucky enuff to find the seats - since when Korea has been such a popular destination? Must be due to all the drama series going around) but every penny is worth it. Perhaps, it's my way of patting myself for those dark days I had been through this year and survived. Or perhaps, it's just a lame self justification. Hahaha...
Either way, I'm going to Korea!!! Hope I don't freeze myself out there!!! =)
Pic - http://pravsworld.com/new/images/experience/as_much_as_i_dream.jpg
Today, I'm 28. An ordinary woman, wishes to live an ordinary and simple life, inside and out.
Then, I was 18. Sitting on the floor in my room, between tears and trembling, I prayed these words: Strength, wisdom and guidance.
Words cannot explain life those next weeks and months, as I faithfully hold on to my decision ... a decision that hurts my heart and caused sleepless nights filled with pain as well as sorrow.
Questions plagued within me. Why? Why now and not later?
Not everything in this world is right and wrong. Some things comes under wise or unwise.
Doubts started to fill inside me. What did I fail to do? Did I make the right choice?
I cried out loud for healing inside. Healing never came. Many nights I laid in my bed, tugged under my quilt, sobbing. Tears rolling down my cheeks, exhausted, feeling helpless, wondering how I would make it to the other side of this.
Healing never came ... or has it? At first glance, I'd say "no" because it didn't come the way I so specifically and faithfully prayed for. But over the years looking back, there is always a reason of why things happened the way it did - regardless of the way you wishes it to.
I wish I could tell you today that I am not afraid. But I would be lying. I am afraid. I fear of the day that I stand still pondering on the what-ifs and regret in depth.
Life is about choices and that I strongly believe and hold. So, I trust and constantly remind myself that each choice that I choose and each decision that I make are with the wisdom and guidance that I had at that moment of time for the best of the future.
And with that, I will keep moving forward in life.
Pic - http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/48/Hard_to_make_the_right_choice.jpg
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