Life is about choices ...

Today, I'm 28. An ordinary woman, wishes to live an ordinary and simple life, inside and out.

Then, I was 18. Sitting on the floor in my room, between tears and trembling, I prayed these words: Strength, wisdom and guidance.

Words cannot explain life those next weeks and months, as I faithfully hold on to my decision ... a decision that hurts my heart and caused sleepless nights filled with pain as well as sorrow.

Questions plagued within me. Why? Why now and not later?

Not everything in this world is right and wrong. Some things comes under wise or unwise.

Doubts started to fill inside me. What did I fail to do? Did I make the right choice?

I cried out loud for healing inside. Healing never came. Many nights I laid in my bed, tugged under my quilt, sobbing. Tears rolling down my cheeks, exhausted, feeling helpless, wondering how I would make it to the other side of this.

Healing never came ... or has it? At first glance, I'd say "no" because it didn't come the way I so specifically and faithfully prayed for. But over the years looking back, there is always a reason of why things happened the way it did - regardless of the way you wishes it to.

I wish I could tell you today that I am not afraid. But I would be lying. I am afraid. I fear of the day that I stand still pondering on the what-ifs and regret in depth.

Life is about choices and that I strongly believe and hold. So, I trust and constantly remind myself that each choice that I choose and each decision that I make are with the wisdom and guidance that I had at that moment of time for the best of the future.

And with that, I will keep moving forward in life.

Pic - http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/48/Hard_to_make_the_right_choice.jpg

My Sister's Keeper

Not necessary the movie anyone should watch on a plane. Not because it's dreadful. Instead it is intelligent and occasionally funny, although you might want to bring along a few tissues just in case. And for me, a lot of tissues were needed and I came down from the plane with red eyes and red nose.

Based on a novel by Jodi Picoult, it weaves moral and legal issues altogether. An engrossing story, complex characters and a team of excellent cast to bring the story to life.

I luv movies with deep meaning, which provokes you in thoughts that you would not be having if you give it a pass.

Pic - http://www.collider.com/wp-content/image-base/Movies/M/My_Sisters_Keeper/My%20Sisters%20Keeper%20movie%20poster.jpg

親愛的媽媽

I stumbled onto this song during my holidays in Jakarta. From the moment I listen to it, I realized that each word speaks of my life all these years I'm away from home. It is so bingo! No other song can get it more right.

Which is why, tears rolled down my cheeks uncontrollably each time (without fail) I hear these songs - be it at home or in public. It's embarrassing, yes. But it's also relieving, somehow.

= 親愛的媽媽 =
主唱： 劉德華
作曲： 林宥佐
填詞： 劉德華
編曲： 洪晟文

親愛的　你好嗎　不知不覺地三年沒回家
寧靜的生活　如常嗎　請小心身體別太忙

親愛的　聽我話　冰箱裡的菜太久別吃了
晚上外出時　多穿呀　想念我就給我電話

媽媽呀　你知道嗎
現在的生活過得還算好
交的朋友很可靠　說的盡是真心話
請不用為我太牽掛

媽媽呀　你知道嗎
離家的小孩心情很複雜
為了爭氣往上爬　累了又想躲回家
多希望永遠長不大

重回昨日的懷抱　做回妳的小娃娃
我最親愛的媽媽

Video - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPKgbmcuOMk

Old habits die hard - NOT!

If a young elephant is under captive, there will be a shackle around the leg chained to a tree so that it will not escape. Since it is still young, it doesn't hv the energy to pull the whole tree over. After repeated tries, it realized its efforts are useless. It finally gave up and stop struggling.

Now the strange thing is if the elephant is fully grown and it is chained to something smaller like a stick, it will still NOT escape. Not because it doesn't have the energy to but because it still thinks itself is being chained to an unmovable tree (yep, simple as that!).

In life, do you hv a “shackle” of some kind around your leg? What is it that holds you back from experiencing the freedom and liberty in life?

If you become comfortable with your captivity, you may be just like an elephant that was trained to believe it could not break free.

If you think even harder, there might be more than one shackles around yr leg. For yours truly here, I hv realized there are indeed more than one around mine. One of it is the fear of knives. Since young, cutters and knives are my ultimate weaknesses! Even a plastic McDonald knife, I wouldn't dare to run my finger tips across the ridges (yes, I'm not kidding!). Not something to be proud of, especially if you are teased by your friends all the way from primary school to colleagues at work, haha!

And this is why, here goes my deepest gratitude to my HK fren, who not only taught me but run through countless practices with me on this phobia. He had put so much thoughts and efforts with crazy and silly analogies (this elephant is one of it!) to help me overcome and finally, I did - I now proudly proclaimed that this fear has past by me.

I can now soap and wash a knife without feeling that chill down the back of my spine. I can now cut veggies without thinking that my fingers are soon on the floor. I can now handle cutters confidently without staring at it seriously to see if the blades are falling off any sooner. And all these, I'm not exaggerating, my friends!

I feel so free and liberated from - the fear of knives, the habits of asking others for help and the addictions of looking for scissors as substitutes (haha!). For most of the time, old habits die hard. But with a lot of work and patience (thank you again!), changes are easily accomplished. Your old self is gone, you feel alive again and freedom is at last within your reach!

Pic - http://www.dollsofindia.com/dollsofindiaimages/handicrafts/elephant_HB04_200_151.jpg

= All These =

Plans flourished with details
Preparations in all aspects
Expectation to the full
Execution till the end
All these, I love

Life - full of surprises
Uncertainties ahead
Realities really hurt
The naked truth actually bites
All these, I learn

Changes do not leave
Confusion still exists
Decisions needs to be made
Head against heart
All these, I face

Rumors always stick
Gossips multiplies
Lies within words
Sarcasms between lines
All these, I see

Wisdom in speech
Courage in actions
Submission to the sovereign plan
Walking the truthful way
All these, I seek

Stand firm in the word
Resist the temptation
Persevere in the race
Run till the end
All these, I can only pray

Pic - http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_NicAbTLnnPI/Sa2246CQJqI/AAAAAAAABEw/YHF7KzKSC8c/s400/escape.jpg

There must be more to life than this

This song was made by Freddie Mercury (the late lead singer of Queen) and Michael Jackson in the early 80's. Makes you pause for a moment in our busy schedule and reflect life on this ...



There must be more to life than this
There must be more to life than this
How do we cope in a world without love
Mending all those broken hearts
And tending to those crying faces

There must be more to life than living
A better way for us to survive
Why should it be just a case of black or white
There must be more to life than this

Why is this world so full of hate
People dying everywhere
And we destroy what we create
People fighting for their human rights
But we just go on saying c'est la vie
So this is life

There must be more to life than killing
There must be more than meets the eye
What good is life, if in the end we all must die
There must be more to life than this

There must be more to life than killing
There must be more to life than this
I live in hope for a world filled with love
Then we can all just live in peace

There must be more to life, much more to life
There must be more to life, more to life than this

Life

Life is simple.
Expect less and you will be happier,
Love more and you will be more vulnerable.

Is it really so hard to understand?
Has it been about right or wrong?
Always win or lose?

Life is really simple if you allow it,
that is, if you want it to be.
Because life has always been about the choices that you and only you make.

Pic - http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_-SusMq-Lwys/Rmv5AQPAxfI/AAAAAAAAAIw/AZCiOiz5a0c/s400/Long_Path_by_Aiae.jpg